


Things You'll Never Find

by afleetoffoxes



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9725663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afleetoffoxes/pseuds/afleetoffoxes
Summary: A collection of the many drabbles and ficlets that have had nowhere else to go in the world. There are ships, there are friendships. There is love, there is heartache. And there are many alternate universes. No rhyme or reason, no connections unless specified, and little to no explanation.





	1. Valentine's Day - Megan/Mason, Felix/Locus

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick note. Couple of my friends were asking me for a place for all the little things I don't usually post. So. Here it is. Updates as I write new stuff - obviously - and I take requests. Cheers!
> 
> Felix and Locus are babysitting so Megan and Mason go out for Valentine's Day.

“They’ve already eaten but if they want a snack there are valentine cupcakes on the counter-”

“You know we’ve watched your kids before, right?” Felix asked as he threw himself down into the Wu’s sofa and kicked his feet up. “Mase hasn’t fu-”

“-What he means is: we’ll be fine,” Locus interrupted coolly and Felix stuck his tongue out at his partner.

Megan laughed, her dark hair falling into her face so she had to brush it back. She looked lovely in her black dress, with deep lipstick drawing eyes towards her mouth - though she’d always looked stunning, Locus figured. Petite and fiery, Megan was a force to be reckoned with and it was no wonder Mason had fallen so hard. “Thank you for watching the kids, boys. We really appreciate the time out.”

Mason appeared from the hall, pulling on a suit jacket and wrapping an arm around Megan’s waist. “Yeah, thanks again. Means I can take Megan to that new restaurant we were talking about-”

“-Yeah, you’re welcome for that, by the way,” Felix added, already clicking through the channels on the tv. He was, of course, referring to the last minute Valentine’s Day reservations he’d “sweet talked” a waitress into making for the couple at one of the city’s fancier restaurants.

“Thanks, Gates,” Mason chuckled with a genuine smile that Felix pointedly ignored.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Megan asked for the third time since Locus and Felix had offered to babysit the day before. “Don’t you boys have any Valentine’s Day plans?”

Felix scoffed but kept his attention focused on the tv.

“Not since Felix tried to be ‘romantic’ a few years ago and set the kitchen on fire,” Locus told her with a smirk.

“Hey! I _tried_ -”

“We don’t mind, Megan. We don’t really bother with Valentine’s,” he said over Felix’s shrill voice.

Megan pursed her lips but she smiled and moved to peck both of them on the cheek. “Thank you, boys.” The couple turned towards the door and Mason helped his wife into her coat. “Call if you need anything!”

“Or don’t. You know, so we can enjoy our evening,” Mason said with a snicker as Megan swatted his arm. “See ya, guys.”

Locus glanced over at his partner as Felix continued to ignore him with what looked to be a pout while flicking through the channels. He rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around Felix’s shoulders to drag him close. Despite his protesting, Felix settled in comfortably into Locus’ side.

“Are you upset that we gave them our reservations?” Locus asked as he kissed Felix’s undercut.

Felix gave a loud sigh but he shrugged under Locus’ arm. “Nah. They could use some time alone and Mase really needs to get laid-” Locus chuckled and Felix joined him with a snicker. “Besides, I can get us reservations anytime.”

“I’m sure you could.”

“I _could_!”


	2. Valentine's Day - Felix/Locus/Siris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the bounty hunters celebrate Valentine's Day.

When Locus pushed open the door to the apartment, he stopped at the smell of food. Good smelling food. Which meant, of course, that it was Mason that was cooking because Isaac couldn’t boil _water_.

He kicked the door closed with his boot and turned the corner to the kitchen. Three plates sat at the table, all of them heaped with what looked to be risotto and shrimp carefully stacked on top, a bottle of white wine was chilling in a bucket, and there was a new tablecloth, bright red and obviously new - Isaac would have ruined something so nice by now if it weren’t. 

Mason was crouched in front of the oven, peering through the window at whatever was baking inside. He was dressed nicely in dark jeans and a deep violet shirt with the sleeves rolled up but it was covered by the specially made purple apron Isaac had got him for his birthday with “let me “Wu” you” emblazoned on the front. He turned as Locus entered, straightening out of his crouch and smiling at his partner.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Mason beamed, sweeping his arm at the table grandly.

Locus hummed, moving forward to lean down and press a kiss to Mason’s temple. “It smells good. These are for you,” he said, holding out the bouquet of flowers he’d picked out for Mason - purple tulips, his favorite if Locus remembered right. Which he did.

Mason sniffed them with a grin as he carried them to the table. “Get me a vase, would you? I’ll put them in the center with Isaac’s.”

Locus reached into the cupboard above the fridge, plucking out the lone vase and filling it with water. Mason stacked his flowers in there and then reached for the second bouquet in Locus’ hands - orange lilies for Isaac - and set those in with the tulips.

“Brightens up the place, I think,” Mason said, looking pleased with his work.

“It looks good. I wasn’t aware you were such a romantic. Where’s Isaac?” Locus asked as the buzzer went off for the oven. Mason tugged the door open and pulled out some kind of pie crust.

“Don’t know. I haven’t seen him since this morning when I went out to get groceries for dinner.” He must have noticed Locus’ curious glances at the crust when he turned to the fridge. “It’s going to be a chocolate cream pie. I have to add layers,” Mason said, his voice far too amused at Locus’ look. “It’ll take me a couple of minutes. Call him and tell him to get his boney ass home.”

Locus chuckled but he pulled out his phone and dialed his partner’s number. It rang and then, very quietly, Locus could hear the ringtone Isaac had picked out for him playing from somewhere in the apartment. He and Mason shared a confused look until there was a voice in Locus’ ear.

“Well, happy Valentine’s to you too, Sammy,” Isaac purred over the line.

“Isaac? Are you in the apartment?” Locus asked, already heading for their room with Mason at his heels.

“ _Maybe_.” The word was long, drawn out, and the duo could hear it through the bedroom door as they got closer.

Locus pushed the door open and they looked inside. There, laying across the king bed, was Isaac with his phone pressed to his ear.

He was also naked. Very, very naked.

Their partner hung up with a grin and waggled his fingers at the two in greeting.

“Have you been in here all day?” Mason demanded, looking stunned. “I’ve been home! I’ve been cooking _all day_ and you didn’t come out _once_?”

“Uh hello? Haven’t you ever heard of a ‘Valentine’s Day surprise’? It’s called a _surprise_ for a reason, Mase. Geez,” Isaac grumbled with a roll of his eyes. “Now, get over here. I’ve been waiting. _All_. _Day_.”

Locus chuckled as Mason sputtered and gestured out into the hall. “No! I made dinner, Isaac. It’ll get cold-”

“-Can it be reheated?” Isaac asked, looking unimpressed.

“What? I mean,” Mason frowned, confused by the sudden question, “I guess so-” 

“-Good.” Isaac’s face split into a hungry grin. “Then it can wait. Sam? Get the door, yeah?”

Locus rolled his eyes but he felt the corner of his mouth pull up. He pushed the door most of the way closed and wrapped an arm around Mason, leading him towards the bed. Mason protested for another moment before he seemed to realize that it was two against one.

“Fine,” he groaned but there was a smile tugging at his lips as Locus kissed behind his ear and Felix started tugging on his apron, “But you two have to do the dishes afterwards.”


	3. The Laundry Incident - The Triplets (Ohio & Idaho & Iowa)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't talk about the laundry incident.
> 
> (Based off of something very similar that I faced in uni)

“Iowa? What. The. _Hell_ ,” Vera asked from the doorway to the laundry room. A laundry room that was flooding out into the hall and had a sea of bubbles up to her fucking _neck_.

A blond head popped out of the bubbles, grinning at her in a frame of white with dripping curls. “Hi Ohio!” he shouted her nickname over the sound of running water and whatever horrible sound the machine was making.

Vera laid her head in her hand with a heavy sigh. She’d been expecting it to be Iowa, of course, but she hadn’t actually _known_. By now she figured she really should have. “Mike. What did you _do_?” she asked, already tired in anticipation of his response.

“Uh…” he trailed off, looking around the laundry room in confusion. Suddenly, his face lit up. “Oh! Well… There was a spider? And I was trying to kill it so I grabbed a pipe off of the wall and I tried to hit it but then water started coming out of the wall and then I knocked over the big bottle with all the soapy stuff in it and then I couldn’t find the spider because of all the bubbles _but_ … I think I killed it,” he finished proudly, grinning down at her.

“Oh my god,” Vera mumbled, closing her eyes and leaning against the door. She could feel the water starting to soak through her sneakers but she couldn’t muster up the energy to care.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Idaho - Ezra - repeated from behind her and she peeked over her shoulder to see his jaw slack and his glasses slipping down his nose. “ _Mike_ ,” he groaned, looking to Ohio for explanation.

She shook her head at him and shrugged her shoulders at him. “Don’t look at _me_. I just got here. Apparently there was a spider.”

Idaho nodded like this explained everything - which… it did because this was Iowa they were talking about - and kicked his shoes off, away from the sea of water. He started rolling up his jeans and pulled off his socks before turning to meet Vera’s curious look.

“What? He’s going to need help cleaning up,” he said before disappearing into the sea of bubbles with spattering footsteps. “You coming?” he called, his voice drifting out of the wall of white, shimmering suds.

Vera let out a long sigh before she too rolled up her jeans - her shoes were already ruined, fuck it - and started swatting at the heavily scented mess. “Yeah, yeah. _Someone_ has to stop the water.”


End file.
